Kicking Ass and Taking Names

Wednesday, December 14, 2005


Take Your Diamond and Shove It

Diamonds are pretty, no? All sparkly and shiny, they make you think of love and hope and all that crap. I have nothing against diamonds. They've never done anything to me.

But seriously, if I see one more commercial before Christmas for Jared, Zales, De Beers or JB Robinson, I am going to straight up lose it.

Seriously, are these not the worst displays you have ever seen? The women in the ads are all, "I don't want another tea cozy for Christmas this year, so I made sure to tell my man to go to Zales." Are they for real? Like, are there women out there who are actually going to kick their guys to the curb if they don't receive a 24kt rock? Was your wedding/engagement ring not enough for you, you crazy lady? Do you really NEED more diamonds? Is that what Jesus would really want for you on HIS birthday? IS IT??

OK, I'm done now. Check it out, though, someone agrees with me:

http://www.thephatphree.com/features.asp?SectionID=11&StoryID=1862&LayoutType=1

posted by Yvonne at 2:32 PM

7 Comments:

  • Seriously! It's so not special if you TELL him you want diamonds. I mean, if someone were to surprise me with diamonds I would naturally be pleased. Then again, if someone were to surprise me with patterned socks. The me and the surprise are the important parts of the equation - the actual contents of the surprise are completely irrelevant.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:15 PM  

  • I should have finsihed the thought - if someone were to surprise me with patterned socks, I would be pleased.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:15 PM  

  • Yvonne, I used to know girls that would dump a guy if he didn't get the right jewelry...

    Anyway, the reasons I hate diamonds are because DeBeers is a cartel that artificially keeps diamond prices inflated by limiting the mining of gemstones, and because most of those stones are mined under conditions similar to coal mines in the early 1900s with a lot of illegal workers.

    So yeah, those are my gripes.

    But my favorite commercial has got to be that fake Lion King rip-off with eagles that's sponsored by Best Buy where they ask you to turn your cell phones off. Moral of the story: be polite, buy shit.

    By Blogger Seb, at 9:42 AM  

  • Ha! Yes, I love those Best Buy ads. Commercials in general at this time of year crack me up with how ridiculous they are.

    By Blogger Yvonne, at 10:12 AM  

  • "Cameron is wound so tight if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond."
    --Mr. Ferris Bueller

    It would be cool if your boyfriend could shit diamonds, though. That would make someone a five percenter as opposed to a ten percenter, I think.

    By Blogger Jess, at 10:47 AM  

  • Yvonne, its like you read my mind. I hate the "he went to jared" commercials. Note to ad agency: it doesn't make me think of diamonds, it makes me think the husband bought some bling off of the subway guy. Not to mention how condescending the commercials are to women thinking all they want is jewelry ... just give me the money :)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:25 PM  

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IY4q2ym0wfg

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:43 PM  

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