Nothing like a little alcohol to weed out the office pervs

As a general rule, I don't like blogging about work. I am, however, a fan of blogging about the awesomeness of getting toasty with coworkers during a yearly event known the world over as the Company Christmas Party. I'm sure everybody has been to at least one. The worst ones are painful at best, excruciatingly painful at worst. This is usually the case when you work in a small office where most of the employees have no interaction outside of work, so when you do end up hanging outside of work in a social setting, it's muy awkward. You end up having to listen to Louise talk about her cat Snuggles for an hour, and when she mistakes your polite interest for genuine interest, out come the pictures, at which point you have to ooh and ahh at a blurry photo of Snuggles' crap clumps in its litter box when all you really want to do is poke Louise in the eye with your fork and you end up realizing no free meal is worth this torture. But I digress.

I'm actually totally psyched about my office party tonight, though. And yes, I did just use the phrase "totally psyched." I had just started at my company right before last year's party and didn't really know anybody; this year, I'm the coolest kid in the office and everybody wants to be me. Actually, that's not true at all. But I'm at least friendly with several people, and we are all planning on taking advantage of the open bar and making fun of the losers in the other departments. Those bitches in Client Services aint got nuthin on us, yo. We're gonna throw up the Publishing sign when we walk in the door, and they're gonna know what's up. I've dared my co-worker E (he of the out-of-control Chuck Norris love) to request the R. Kelly classic "Bump n' Grind," and then ask our boss to dance. We'll see if he pulls through.

What I'm most looking forward to, though, is watching the American Idol-style talent show that's held at the end of the night. I didn't stay for it last year, but apparently I missed out. There's nothing I love more than listening to a bunch of tone deaf drunks belting out "I Will Survive" and "Achy Breaky Heart." It's so going to rock.